This will be my last letter to you. By the end of this, I will have said everything I needed to say to you and can continue on my journey towards healing.
I wish that I could be friends with you, but right now, I can’t. And I’m not sure if I would be able to see you as a friend because I know that I would probably fall for you the same way again. It’s also because I can’t see you as a friend. If you think about it, if I saw you as a friend, I would have acted a bit differently with you in comparison to how I actually was with you. I wouldn’t care as much. Now if I decided to continue talking to you as a friend even though you hurt me, I wouldn’t act the same way as we were before, and if you thought I would, you are mistaken. I did the things I did because I like you romantically, not just as a friend. I acted the way I did because that’s how I felt.
If I’m unable to come to terms with this whole situation, I can never be friends with you. And if I can’t, I’ll just have to admire you from afar. I’ll be your number one fan when you become a writer. And just because we stopped talking, doesn’t mean I don’t care about you anymore. I also like to think that you feel the same way. I like to think that you are cheering me on from afar. I may not hear it or see it, but I feel it.
During our phone call, I told you that I wasn’t gonna chase you anymore. From the tone of your voice, you sounded a bit choked up about it. The reason I said this is because I don’t need to try or put effort into making you like me. I already offered everything to you and you already know that I’m one of a kind. And from now on, I’m just going to continue being way more awesome than before (but you should already know that).
If you ever decide to come back, the lighthouse will be on for you. But just know that I have the power to turn it off.